No Spiral

I received my divorce papers in the mail this week and I am intrigued by my reaction. Instead of spiralling into my usual pit of grief and despair, I feel ok. Yes I feel sad, and yes I’m still grieving. But there’s no spiral.

It feels foreign and quite frankly, I’m not sure how to deal with it. The all-encompassing descent into darkness I know; grief mixed with happiness I don’t.

So what’s different? Well, I cried when I got the papers then I moved on. I ate a healthy meal. I wrote in my journal. I cried again. I went for a jog. I lived, I laughed, I loved. I am not letting my divorce define me, but am letting it be a part of me along with everything else. The unexpected side benefit of doing so seems to be balance and harmony.

It’s a novel and intriguing concept to me. I think I like it.