Sunday Night Dread

At around 4pm yesterday, I felt an all too familiar feeling of Sunday Night Dread in my gut. Not Sunday Night Bleh; that I can easily overcome. This was Sunday Night Dread; it's heavier and it stays.

The last time I felt it so strongly was a few years ago. At the time I placed those feelings aside to deal with the many changes brought on by multiple moves and the end of a 12-year relationship. I was too busy learning to live on my own, re-building my social network and grieving my marriage to worry about fulfilling work. Actually, my job was one of the only stable things I had and it played an enormous part in re-building my social network; for that I am grateful.

Now that other areas of my life seem more stable (although I believe that complete stability, like complete security, is merely an illusion), I’m sensing that the question of fulfilling work is coming back to the forefront. Gut feels, unreasonable impatience in the workplace and a variety of stress-induced aches and pains are clamouring for attention.

I guess it was bound to come up again; now I just have to figure out what to do with it.