Reflections of a Facebook Newbie
Things that have crossed my mind since joining Facebook two weeks ago:
- Now I have one more thing to check when I log in: email, my blog, other blogs, Facebook.
- For the past four years I've worked to keep my life separate from my ex-husband's, now there's a chance our lives may connect virtually through mutual friends. It's forcing me to manage those connections and deal with some baggage. I'm not sure to what extent I'm ready for that.
- It's fun to connect - or re-connect - with friends and family through casual comments, questions & photos. I enjoy getting a glimpse into their everyday lives.
- I crave validation and want to belong just as much as I did in junior high. Although I'm not all that surprised, I didn't think it would be that immediate or obvious; joining Facebook brought those insecurities to the surface. Damn.
- Since joining Facebook, I spend more time writing and reading snippets of information and less time writing and reading in-depth pieces. I want to manage that. I don't want my writing and blog posts to take a hit.
- When I look people up on Facebook I feel like a stalker. I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that.
- Connecting with the girls from Squam on Facebook brings me right back to last September's magical weekend in New Hampshire. It keeps me in tune with a creative vibe that makes me feel alive and fills me with Love and possibility. It feels good.
Facebook challenges my ability to manage my time, my emotional reactions and my priorities more than I thought it would. It also allows me to nurture existing connections with friends & family, and opens me to new connections and opportunities that otherwise might not happen.
As I read through my list of thoughts, I can't help but wonder if it's having the same effect on others and if so, what kind of impact - pros and cons - could that mean for society as more and more people adopt a "Facebook" way of life?
Just a few thoughts from a Facebook newbie...
Labels: Life's big questions, Squam, Technology, Writing
posted by Steph at 8:19 a.m.
8 Comments:
OMG - you hit it BANG ON! Great job of putting the paradox of Facebook into words. I can relate to every one of your points. Well, except for the ex-husband one. But I did connect with an ex-boyfriend from a lifetime ago! :-)
xox
I think you’ve captured so eloquently some of the challenges and opportunities that Facebook presents people.
It’s funny, because I feel the Facebook experience *is* what happens when a community of people gets together. It wouldn’t matter if you joined a sewing circle, headed out to the woods to camp with a group of people, started a new job, or signed up for a class; whether you went to your high school reunion or the office Christmas party. You would have the same connections, dynamics, baggage, and challenges. Your fears and desires and insecurities would present themselves. And so would the opportunities to make change, inspire, help and absolutely enjoy people. You’d have to set your emotional boundaries and make conscious choices about how you want to interact with the group and how much of yourself you want to give.
That’s the nature of being with people, isn’t it? The only difference is that the community of Facebook is larger. So the dynamic is that much more amplified.
I think it’s very courageous of you to participate and to spend the time figuring out what it means to you and what you want from it. I admire your openness and your honesty; it’s very refreshing. I hope, for my own selfish reasons, after all your analysis, that you decide to stay on Facebook in some capacity. Because I so enjoy being able to see you there!
Big hugs, Lisa
DaveW - Facebook resister and proud of it! Solidarity brothers and sisters, the great scourge of our time will morph into something else soon enough! ;-)
I think its a decent enough tool, after all I like web 1.0 tools like email, IMs, message boards, even blogs (which are 2.0), but call me paranoid, but I don't like the idea of a giant database being constructed linking my likes, likes of my friends, etc to better market products to me that I don't need. We consume enough junk in this society already, I don't want to help marketers along by participating.
There was an awesome video that was kinda predicting what would happen in the future with mergers between google and amazon and facebook, in the end it ends with someone ordering a pizza and the person taking the order had a whole bunch of info on him and knew what he was ordering before he said anything, including that he was fired and so couldn't afford the pizza anyway.
Unfortunately I can't find it now!
In short, screw the man! Now where did I put my tinfoil hat! ;-)
Thank you for your comments ladies!
I intend to stay on Facebook - two weeks isn't enough of a try to make up my mind one way or another. Besides, although my list seems a tad on the negative side, there are things I enjoy about it that might keep me there. :)
Jag, I love the term "paradox of Facebook."
Lala, I can't wait to continue this discussion in person over a glass of wine!
In the meantime, see you both on FB. ;)
Steph
xox
Hey Dave! We were commenting at the same time. Thank you for your contribution to the discussion.
Oh, you forgot your tinfoil hat on the dresser.
:)
xox
i stumbled onto your blog from amy's blog that i visited for the first time today. (you must know how that goes!) your facebook post was perfectly said and i echo everything you said. i just joined in december and have reconnected and connected with a lot of high school (and some college) friends. i feel a bit voyeuristic when i read someone's wall and do not comment. (kinda like blogging i suppose). i am also in awe of the "friend collectors" that are on fb. i guess it's a sign of insecurity that one would need to accumulate many friends to feel "included". i've had a slew of friend requests and as soon as i add them i never hear from them. weird.
me again! i also wanted to add that i saw my ex-husband on fb and actually thought of blocking him from seeing my pic. how paranoid am i?
I found the links... two separate ones:
The Googlezon one was called EPIC 2014 and is amazing at how much it got right considering it was made in 2004! It was also updated to EPIC 2015 in 2005.
http://epic.makingithappen.co.uk/
The other one with the pizza ordering was from the ACLU, also from 2004. This is the scary one.
http://www.aclu.org/pizza/
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