Inspiration

“In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart.”
- Anne Frank

If she could believe it, couldn’t we?

On a side note, I’m leaving bright & early tomorrow for this year’s Sisters on the Road Trip to NB. For a third year in a row, we’re heading out to Mom & Dad’s for a weekend of music, fun, and good ol’ r&r. I look forward to it. See you when I get back!

Grateful

Before I let myself sink into a spiral of dissatisfaction and despair, I will balance out the last few posts about my more challenging dilemmas with a list of things for which I am grateful – no questions asked:

• D. and Cassie
• Family
• Friends
• My home
• My paycheck
• My overall health
• The healthy, organic, abundant food that sustains me
• The creative women bloggers, entrepreneurs, photographers and writers who inspire me – most of them without even knowing it – to grow into my own creativity
• My upcoming trip to NB with Sis
• My upcoming trip to NH for Squam Art Workshops
• My personal library
• My computer
• My car, my mechanic and the fact that I can drive
• The sun, the moon and the stars
• My new digital camera
• That I live in a peaceful country, city, neighbourhood
• Backyard birds – chickadees, cardinals, blue jays
• Hiking trips with D. and Cassie
• My Evil Dead t-shirt, cool skirt and funky bracelet outfit
• My back deck under the trees
• Being walking distance to Bridgehead, the bakery, the florist, the grocery store, the meat shop, the farmer’s market, a favourite sandwich shop and the library
• Saturday coffee and errand runs with D.
• The opportunity to write about how grateful I am, here, today.

Back to Reality?

When I first returned to work from my sabbatical just over a year ago, I remember overhearing a Monday morning conversation over the cubicle wall that went something like this:

"Sooo, did you have a good weekend?"
"Yeah it was great! Spent some time at the cottage, with the family … but, sigh, I guess now it’s back to reality right?"

That second person sounded so dejected; I remember feeling sorry for him.

This morning I was driving to work thinking about how much fun I had at a weekend BBQ re-connecting with folks from an organization for which I volunteered while on sabbatical, about how vibrant I felt re-connecting with them and how useful I felt to the organization at the time.

I thought about how much I lived vicariously through other creative women, and how I’m ready to stop coveting their life and live my own. I thought about how much I wanted to be at home setting up my office, writing, creating, resting. Then – and this is the kicker – I thought “But, sigh, I guess now it’s back to reality right?”

Doh.

Sunday Night Dread

At around 4pm yesterday, I felt an all too familiar feeling of Sunday Night Dread in my gut. Not Sunday Night Bleh; that I can easily overcome. This was Sunday Night Dread; it's heavier and it stays.

The last time I felt it so strongly was a few years ago. At the time I placed those feelings aside to deal with the many changes brought on by multiple moves and the end of a 12-year relationship. I was too busy learning to live on my own, re-building my social network and grieving my marriage to worry about fulfilling work. Actually, my job was one of the only stable things I had and it played an enormous part in re-building my social network; for that I am grateful.

Now that other areas of my life seem more stable (although I believe that complete stability, like complete security, is merely an illusion), I’m sensing that the question of fulfilling work is coming back to the forefront. Gut feels, unreasonable impatience in the workplace and a variety of stress-induced aches and pains are clamouring for attention.

I guess it was bound to come up again; now I just have to figure out what to do with it.

Retreating to Nature

As the first no-rain (or at least lower-chance-of-rain) weekend of the summer approaches, D. and I decided to take advantage of it by booking a last-minute camping trip. I can't wait. This country girl urbanite feels a deep need to get away and commune with Mother Nature!

We booked two nights at Bon Echo Provincial Park, a place I've been itching to explore for a few years. Campfires, breakfast and morning coffee in the great outdoors, hiking, silence - blessed silence. It may not be a retreat by the water (see Pondering post, item #11), but right now it's close enough for me.

Pondering ...

Buying a house
Having kids
Setting roots
Staying flexible
Living in the city
Living in the country
Growing food
Eating local
Hiring someone to clean the house
Doing it myself
Retreating somewhere near water for a while
My to-do list
My do-nothing list (one item listed: Be)
Changing jobs
Working for myself
Being debt-free
Financial goals beyond my debt-free state (emergency fund, savings for car, savings for down-payment on a house, savings for retirement, savings for fun)
Frugal living
Purging some of my stuff (or “unstuffing”)
Travelling by plane
Buying or renting an Airstream and travelling across the country with D. and Cassie
Meaningful work
My "Bucket List"
Having a snack

Quebec Pics Part II: Simplicity

To offset the ever-present stimulation of Quebec City's textures and colours, my sometimes overwhelmed senses sought respite:

après-latte

red hydrant

white grill

black grill

silver and red

Quebec Pics Part I: Colours, Layers, Textures

What struck me during my visit to Quebec City - Old Quebec in particular - was the dizzying array of colours, textures and layers. These few pictures are but a sample of the visual stimulation that sent me into a clicking frenzy:

rooftops

stone and sky

layers

épicerie of yore

contemplative colour

And a bonus pic for Cassie:

Dog's Lane

Quebec City Highlights

After visit number six or seven, Quebec City has yet to disappoint me. I am still smitten. Here are a few highlights from my weekend trip:

• Wandering the streets with D. with no plans or obligations, discovering treasures along the way
• Photographing the layers, colours and textures of Old Quebec’s historic architecture
• Stumbling upon the illuminated Potager des visionnaires at night, atop the Musée de la civilisation
• Walking along Dufferin Terrace with D. at night
• Le Moulin à images (a 0.6km projection of images of the past 400 years in Quebec City on the silos of Quebec's port - check out the video clips to if you have time)
• Discovering rue St-Jean with its cafés, shops and restaurants – épicerie J. A. Moisan, claiming to be one of North America’s oldest grocery stores (if not the oldest), was definitely a favourite with its wooden shelves, glass cabinets and jazz playing in the background, not to mention its scrumptious offerings of “produits du terroir”
• Enjoying cheap, good breakfast fare at Buffet de l’Antiquaire three days in a row – the “cheapest breakfast in town” according to the local couple sitting beside us on Day 2. Here's what the Lonely Planet has to say.

I'll no doubt share a few favourite photos in a later post. I already look forward to my next visit.