'Tis The Season!

box o' goodies & cookies

I just picked up a box of Christmas goodies from Mom at the bus station, saw a couple walking on my street carrying a bundled Christmas tree - she at the helm, he carrying the trunk at the back - and have plans to get dolled up for a Winter Cocktail Party tomorrow night.

Let the festive season begin!

On Moving Forward ...

"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power."
- Alan Cohen

Inspired by a friend's post on Change and my own struggles and successes in moving forward, I thought I'd share this quote.

Though I've experienced movement I'd consider adventurous and exciting, sometimes for me the best way to move has been slow and steady. Sometimes it was backward, sometimes it was forward. Either way, most of the time it had its purpose and was better than standing still.

Where Did The Time Go?

countryside from a moving train

It's all going by so fast!

It's already time to haul out the Christmas decorations, wrap the gifts and kick off the holiday party season. Where did the months go?

Book Junkie: Personal Finances

I'm obsessed with the world of personal finances - rather I'm obsessed with reading about it. Just for fun, I decided to scour my bookshelf for relevant titles:

• The Millionaire Next Door - The Surprising Secrets of America's Wealthy
• The Energy of Money - A Spiritual Guide to Financial and Personal Fulfillment
• Retiring Wealthy in the 21st Century
• The Wealthy Barber
• Stop Working ... Start Living - How I Retired at the Age of 36 Without Winning the Lottery
• Your Money or Your Life
• Getting a Life
• Prosperity Pie - How to Relax about Money and Everything Else
• Financial Serenity - Successful Financial Planning and Investment for Women
• How to Survive Without a Salary
• How to Get Out of Debt, Stay Out of Debt, and Live Prosperously

That list doesn't even include books I've borrowed: Smart Women Finish Rich, Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover, a myriad of Suze Orman books (Suze and I spent many a Saturday night together when I was going through my separation - sad, I know, but informative!).

The list doesn't include the blogs I surf, nor does it include chapters on personal finance in books related to voluntary simplicity, another obsession of mine.

Despite having read most of these at least once, if not twice or more, I'm not ready to retire and I'm nowhere near financial independence. But since I've started exploring the world of personal finance I've become more aware of my financial habits, priorities, strengths and weaknesses. I guess that's a good first step.

Maybe a second step would be to cut back on buying so many books. :)

Country Mouse, City Mouse

As D. and I search rental ads for a place to live in the new year, despite my love of urban living I'm reminded of a love for all things country. This ad made my heart skip a beat:

"Beautiful 20 acre rural property, perfect for a scholar with outdoor interests. This two bedroom, 1.5 bath house has a large library with built-in bookshelves and an office with plenty of work space, a screened verandah, sun deck, large sunny kitchen, flower and vegetable gardens, walking trails in the forest, a picnic area with sand dunes, and a labyrinth in the back field. ..."

Swoon.

Country mouse or city mouse? I guess a bit of both.

Holiday Shopping Traffic - Ick!

This afternoon I visited Suburbia Shopping Grand Central for one specific gift on my Christmas list. After about 10 minutes in the car I was exhausted. And I wasn't driving!

I think one of the side effects of urban living is a decreased tolerance (or increased INtolerance) for the four-weeks-before-Christmas shopping traffic and its resulting parking lot chaos. I do not miss it one bit.

Holiday traffic sucks. Three cheers for online shopping and the walk-everywhere convenience of living in the city!

Sleepy Saturday

I woke up at seven this morning and had grandiose plans to spend the day doing a bit of nothing, a bit of cleaning and a bit of catching up on my to-do list.

After spending an hour writing my morning pages, I pulled my blankets up to my chin just to warm up a bit before starting my day. Imagine my surprise when I opened my eyes later to see my clock telling me it was 1:05pm!

So much for my grandiose plans - but yay for sleepy Saturdays. :)

Good Vibes Requested

About two months ago a former colleague of mine was diagnosed with an aggressive form of brain cancer. After a year or so of severe headaches, and finally one night collapsing, doctors discovered he had a cancerous brain tumour. They operated and managed to remove a significant portion of that tumour, hopeful that radiation treatments and subsequent chemotherapy would help prevent any spreading.

About a month later they found out that the cancer had spread through his brain like a web. He lost control of his left side and was re-admitted to hospital. The tumour has grown back and is bigger than its original size. His health is deteriorating quickly.

Despite all this, according to friends who visited him in the hospital, his spirits are up. It doesn't surprise me. This man is the typical all-around good guy in the office - soft-spoken, jovial, a hard worker, always has a good story to tell. He's the type of guy to whom you just hate seeing bad things happen.

So it is with faith in the power of good thoughts and intention, and in your ability and mine to deliver them, that I ask you to include him in your prayers tonight. I've no doubt he and his loved ones will appreciate it.

A Good Day

leaf on my doorstep

I've considered my options and I've decided: today will be a good day.

Let It Snow

This morning we woke up to our first real snowfall and there's a heavy snowfall warning in effect for tonight and tomorrow. Hurray!

I have winter tires on the car, had previously arranged to take tomorrow morning off thus avoiding the chaos of a snow-filled rush hour, and got approval to work from home for the rest of the afternoon if the weather and roads are too bad.

Opportunity to hunker. Life is good.

Comfort Is ...

... being greeted at the door by a Golden Retriever so excited to see you that it's palpable, wagging her tail into a frenzy, giving you big doggie kisses until your hands are full of slobber and it doesn't even bother you because in that one moment, all your cares and worries just melted away.

What Soothes You?

Tonight, what soothes me is a new-to-me jigsaw puzzle, Bruce Cockburn's Speechless and a cup of ginger peach tea. What soothes you?

Jimmy Stewart and ... Solar Energy?

A few weeks ago D. and I watched a great movie called You Can't Take It with You directed by Frank Capra (It's a Wonderful Life), starring Jimmy Stewart.

Jimmy Stewart's character, Tony, was the son of a wealthy banker. It was expected he would take over the family business and follow in his father's footsteps. But in a moving scene, Tony reveals his real dream (I paraphrase): to discover how cells in a tiny green blade of grass turn sunlight into energy, and replicate it so humans can take advantage of the sun as an endless source of power.

I was floored. This movie was made in 1938. Who knew solar energy was even on the radar? I guess Frank Capra did.

Vintage Clothing Sale

Two posts in one day! You'd think I'd keep this one in my back pocket for tomorrow, but time is of the essence.

For any locals who happen to read my blog before 10am tomorrow, a public service announcement courtesy of OttawaEvents.org ...

Patchwork quilts, lace table runners, silver dresser sets and antique Christmas ornaments will be among the many household items for sale at the 23rd annual Vintage Clothing Sale, Nov. 18 from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., at the Fairmont Château Laurier Ballroom. Admission is $7. Visitors are encouraged to bring a non-perishable food donation for the Ottawa Food Bank. The reputation of sale has grown over the past 23 years and is a ‘must attend’ event for those looking for unique apparel. Over 40 exhibitors offer an incredible selection of men’s and women’s clothing from the 1890s to the early 1970s as well as antique jewelery, accessories, linens, lace and collectibles.

That's tomorrow morning, 10:00 at the Château Laurier folks. I look forward to it! Last year I left with several pairs of vintage gloves; I wonder what I'll get my hands on this year. :)

Saturday Errands in the City

I just got back from my regular Saturday errands:

bank machine
wine store
bakery
flower shop
coffee shop
local grocer

All these stops in less than an hour without getting in the car.

I so love proximity.

Honouring Past and Present

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.

Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.

And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;

And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.

And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.
- Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

The time has come to honour, then let go of, a significant portion of my past. I feel sad.

I am as grateful to the Universe for my past as I am grateful for my present network of friends and loved ones who are there to support me in my journey of letting it go. You know who you are. Thank you, from the deepest of my being.

Halfway There

This is post #15 of my self-imposed, self-monitored National Blog Posting Month challenge. Hurray!

So far I've enjoyed the experience of posting every day. Not only is it an excellent excuse to write more often, I find I'm more alert to what's going on around me - what I see, what I read, what I feel - because everything could become the subject of that day's post.

I do however find it tough on nights when I'm feeling crappy or tired. It's hard to feel inspired and write when all you want to do is curl up in a ball and whimper. But I've done it.

So tonight I celebrate my halfway mark - only 15 more posts to go ...

On Meaning ...

"...meaning is not something that is found in some mountain-top experience or esoteric literature; rather, meaning is something that is created out of the mundane encounters in the midst of life. Meaning is something that we all have to work at constantly, through processing the actual life we have on our hands."
- The Art of Focused Conversation

Lately I've been spending a lot of time reminiscing about the past and dreaming up the future. Sometimes, when I get too caught up in one or the other, I forget to live in the present. I guess this quote was just a timely reminder to find that healthy balance.

Feeling Discombobulated

The thing about committing to writing a blog post every day is that some days I just don't have the juice to come up with anything interesting, meaningful or thought provoking.

Right now I feel tired, cold, disorganized, uninspired and whiny. So instead of subjecting you to copious amounts of venting and trivial nothingness, I will accept my discombobulated state, call it a night and escape with a cup of tea, a good book and a good night's sleep. Tomorrow is a brand new day.

The Discovery Trail

I love being outside on a sunny afternoon at this time of year. It can be pretty nippy but if you bundle up it's downright invigorating!

D., Cassie and I took advantage of yesterday's great weather and spent time in Gatineau Park hiking the Discovery Trail - don't you just love the name? The trailhead is located at the O'Brien Beach parking lot. The entire loop is 20km but we were content with walking for about an hour and a half, finding a nice spot to enjoy our homemade chicken wraps (thanks D.!) and backtracking for a total of about 5km.

I was a little camera-happy; here are a few favourite snapshots:

In Flanders Fields

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

- Lt.-Col. John McCrae

I Heart Saturdays

Saturday mornings are the best aren't they?

Spending quality time with D., sipping coffee and catching up with friendly servers at the local diner, chilling at the PC surfing, writing, Putumayo's Acoustic Brazil playing in the background. Aaaaahhhh ...

The sun is shining. I foresee an urban hike. This afternoon it's quality time with Sis as we tag-team for fall yard cleanup. It's always more fun when you tag-team. After that? Who knows.

Yup, I definitely heart Saturdays.

On Creativity...

Creativity is God's gift to us. Using our creativity is our gift back to God.

- Julia Cameron, The Artist's Way

I think creativity is part of my calling.

When I experience creative energy, whether mine or someone else’s, I feel alive. My senses become extra aware of sights, sounds and smells. I feel connected to something bigger than myself.

I felt it at last week's presentation by M. Gilbert Cadieux, Corporate Sales Manager, Cirque du Soleil, as he described the creative energy that permeates Cirque's headquarters in Montreal. I felt it when I returned to my Thursday morning writers group yesterday and spent two hours among writers caught up in the creative flurry of National Novel Writing Month. I felt it when I watched Mr. Dressup as a kid and sat mesmerized at the stories he could pull out of his magical tickle trunk.

I suspect creativity will play a major role in my life - maybe even in my career. When I experience creative energy, I feel content and at peace.

Gas Stations – An Urban (In)Convenience

One of my few urban living pet peeves is a seeming lack of conveniently located service stations.

In the burbs there's practically a place to fuel up on every corner, which makes it easy to swing by on the way to or from work when the dreaded empty indicator comes on. Downtown, swinging by the gas station often involves having to know precisely where it is ahead of time, negotiating a series of one-way streets to find it, then negotiating another set of one-way streets to get back to the direction towards which you were driving in the first place.

After almost two full years as an urbanite, I finally found a service station that's perfectly located! It's on my way to work, involves no squiggly detours through city streets and is two traffic lights from an on-ramp to the 417.

No longer do I need to panic at the sight of the dreaded orange miniature gas tank on my console. Hurray for that!

Cold and Tired

I'm tired tonight. I crave warmth and comfort, but my apartment is cold and I am shivering despite the throw wrapped around my shoulders. My creative zest has taken a back seat to my desire to curl up under the blankets with a good book. So my time with you is short today - comfort and warmth await.

So. Many. Thoughts.

My head is swimming with ideas and questions as I type. During the past 12 hours I've thought about ...

servant leadership
feminine leadership
holiday shopping
holiday entertainment
travel
fear of flying
community
mentoring
letting go of past dreams
creating new ones
family
children
art
nature
hiking
writing
creativity
frugality
sustainability

... just to name a few.

Oddly enough I don't feel overwhelmed. I welcome the thoughts. I only hope I can focus on one of them long enough to craft it into one of my remaining 24 posts! : )

30 Days, 30 Posts

Ok, I’m giving this National Blog Posting Month thing a shot - 30 days, 30 posts.

I haven't registered with the official NaBloPoMo Web site yet but I've issued the challenge to myself, and now I've gone public by posting about it. So far so good.

Holiday Balance

What is it about the Holidays that makes me want to spend my savings on shiny, sparkly thingamabobs?

It's as if the simple, frugal living practices I strive to keep during the year go out the door as soon as that first red feathered wreath hits the shelf the day after Halloween. The sight of a frosted miniature tree gets me giddy as I picture how urban chic a set of three would look in front of my fireplace. And those replica vintage turquoise ornaments? Oh. My. God.

My Martha factor goes into overdrive at this time of year. It's usually in direct conflict with my voluntary simplicity principles and financial goals and it creates quite the internal conundrum that leaves me temporarily perturbed.

But then I find that balance. The one that keeps me grounded in a financial and material reality that leaves me happy and on track, but allows me to splurge on a special holiday something or two for the sheer pleasure of it.

So my strategy this year? To enjoy the Holiday giddiness but leave those thingamabobs on the shelf until the Holiday balance sets in.

Imagining Life

Open to life’s offerings, I allow myself to imagine what it would feel like to experience complete joy. Just for a moment, I trust the Universe and its will for me to lead a happy life. I listen to its whispers sporadically making themselves heard when I least expect it.

I imagine different roles: mother, artist, wife, lover. I go through different scenarios: single, married, living solo, sharing a home with a loved one, with a family. I explore my surroundings: city, country, house, apartment, isolation, proximity, nature, energy. I visualize colour: green trees, red kitchen, blue skies, warm tones, cool tones, bright tones, rich tones. I think of career: writing, advising, designing, organizing, creating, contributing, expressing, connecting.

And then I let go.

Re-embracing Fitness

Last night I started a new fitness class - the first in over a year.

While on sabbatical I took two dance classes, a Learn-to-Run clinic, tried pole dancing and even threw in a bit of yoga. I was in the best shape of my life. Then I felt a need to reduce my number of commitments and drastically reduced the amount of time dedicated to physical activity.

After spending six months adjusting to being back to work, I finally feel able to incorporate evening commitments into my week without feeling overwhelmed so I signed up for a class. What fun! It felt good to move. It felt good to get lost in the music, feel my muscles tighten and my mood loosen up. And yes my abs hurt but they hurt good!

One baby step at a time, I'm happily re-embracing physical fitness into my life.

On Taking Risks ...

We have to explore blind alleys. We have to experiment with things that don’t pan out. We have to let things die. It’s all a necessary and inevitable part of the creative process.

- Mario D’Amico, EVP Marketing, Cirque du Soleil

This morning I had the privilege of listening to M. Gilbert Cadieux, Corporate Sales Manager, Cirque du Soleil, give a presentation called The Magic Behind Strategic Planning, Creativity and Branding à la Cirque du Soleil. It left me wired.

One of Cirque du Soleil’s working principles is the will to encourage and take risks. It’s necessary in an organization with creativity at its core; without risk you can’t create.

This philosophy resonated with me at a very profound level. If I want to create a life of beauty, abundance and fulfillment, I need to take risks. I need to explore blind alleys, experiment with things that don’t pan out and be willing to let things – ideas, relationships, attachments – die. What a scary but empowering thought.

More Cirque du Soleil-related musings to come...