Giselle

Giselle

Meet Giselle. She's my first ever face painted from scratch and I love her.

I wanted to try something different today during my time at the table; I wanted to draw a shape as a focal point instead of using collage, something "real" that I - and hopefully others - could recognize. I brought my supplies thinking I might draw a mandala, but instead, with the guidance of notes gleaned from Misty at Squam last year and instructions laid out by Kelly Rae Roberts in her book Taking Flight, Giselle is what came out.

There may be a few touch-ups here & there (I'm thinking around the eyes), but I was so excited I couldn't wait to post her. I think it's the thrill of trying something new and liking the result. It makes me want to try it again.

Images and Rebirth

You must give birth to your images.
They are the future waiting to be born.
Fear not the strangeness you feel.
The future must enter you long before it happens.
Just wait for the birth,
for the hour of new clarity.

- Rainer Maria Rilke

The other night I dreamt of a phoenix for the second time in my life.

In the first dream I was walking along a snowy road on a bright winter day and spotted the red bird sitting on a telephone wire. Then it opened its wings and I remember how striking it looked against the white landscape. When I woke up I didn't know it was a phoenix I'd seen; only when I read the description of the bird in my dream dictionary did I realize what it was.

This second time, I was standing in a parking lot waiting for dear friends of mine to pick me up. They were giving me a ride to Squam. As they pulled into the parking lot I looked up and saw a large white bird facing me with its wings folded in front of its chest. It seemed to be hovering in mid-air, almost apparition-like. Then it started unfurling its beautiful white wings to reveal a red-feathered chest encrusted with gold and jewels. It felt gentle; I felt calm.

I can't help but wonder what this image is birthing.

Getting Hitched!

I'm getting hitched. Married. Tying the knot.

I was going to write a drawn out post about my reaction to marriage this second time 'round (for those who don't know, I've been married before), but it's too depressing and frankly, moot point. It involved panic attacks, cold sweats and lots of baggage & healing (all on my part) and let me just say that D's a trooper and I am one lucky gal. Maybe someday I'll delve into it, maybe not.

So on with the happy news (although most of you have probably already figured it out)... this chick's getting married!!! {insert nervous, joyous, squeals of glee}

We're thinking a June wedding this year. We're thinking small, we're thinking a house party, I'm thinking one of those air-propelled sky dancer bonhommes you see on car dealership lots - or a bouncy castle.

Although I'll try to keep myself in check and not saturate you with wedding details, I suspect you'll see a post or two on the subject during the next few months 'cause, well, it's just plain fun!

Now if you'll excuse me, I must get back to reading my copy of Offbeat Bride...

An Update to my Pondering...

Inspired by a comment on my Pondering post encouraging me to do it all, I looked at the list of items that have been mulling around in my head and thought to myself "What am I waiting for?" So here's my update:

• jigsaw puzzle - complete
• financial independence - created a financial to-do list for the next few months and Savings projections for 2009; completed a few actions on the to-do list
• moving forward with my dream of operating a creative studio made of straw bales - brainstormed on what it could be and what needed to be done to create it (via mind map)
• hosting a Creative Salon - brainstormed on what it could be and what needed to be done to create it (via mind map)
• making a pot of homemade winter vegetable soup - done and yum!
• creating a painting a day for one week - two paintings down, five to go
• cleaning the kitchen, office and bathroom - all in progress
• joining Facebook - done and will you be my friend?

Not bad for a few days eh?

Although having kids and achieving financial independence might have to wait a while, some of the items on the list are quite achievable. All it takes is a little motivation to take action (thank you Kirsten!). I might crash tomorrow, but right now taking action feels pretty gosh darn good.

She puzzled for hours...

... till her puzzler was sore.

Finally! Now that this damn jigsaw puzzle is finished I can get to the rest of the items on that Pondering list of mine.

It is a cool puzzle though don't you think?

I'm such a geek.

Pondering...

• meaningful, fulfilling work
• artful work
• lifestyle - how much is "enough"?
• a June wedding
• biting the bullet and joining Facebook
• cleaning the bathroom, the kitchen, my office, the guest room...
• working on the jigsaw puzzle I started last night
• having kids
• hosting a potluck
• hosting a creative salon
• creating a painting a day for one week
• making a pot of homemade winter vegetable soup tomorrow
• financial independence
• some of my past, and the prospect of letting it go - or just letting it be
• how I contribute (or how I could contribute) to society
• vacationing on a working farm
• moving forward with my dream of operating a creative studio built of straw bales (a.k.a. Strawbale Studio) - even if virtually at first
• de-cluttering
• a train trip getaway to Montreal
• going to bed
• writing a post that doesn't involve a bulleted list

Creative Inspiration

These past few days I've been creatively inspired by...

• a PBS documentary on Woody Guthrie found at the library that has me dreaming of writing prolifically
• a collection of Treasures from American Film Archives, also found at the library, that has me dreaming of producing documentaries and silent films
• Jen Lee's initiative in creating Solstice: Stories of Light in the Dark
• an evening of tea, laughter and exploration of creative dreams with a lovely friend
• the prospect of attending Squam Art Workshops again this year to play, learn, connect, and stretch my comfort zone even further.

Brimming with Possibility

My cup overfloweth, I feel a need to write.

My head and heart are swimming with ideas, fears, hope, anticipation, love, gratitude and dreams for the year to come. I haven't chosen a word, nor have I written down goals or intentions. I've simply been letting myself swim in possibility.

Nurturing connections, community and creative projects; experimenting with the Portfolio Project; Squam (oh yeah!); road trips, camping trips, solo trips; transitioning towards meaningful work; volunteering, hiking, being, showshoeing, praying, giving, reaching, dancing; cooking and sharing healthy meals; learning, healing, laughing, loving - not to mention a possible wedding come June (you betcha!). I am blessed with opportunity.

I'm enjoying this percolating of possibility and contemplation on how I will shape it into something specific. It's a pre-requisite to yearly goals and to-do lists - a Brainstorming phase if you wish. Of course being the productivity geek that I am, I know it won't be long before I pull out the coloured markers and mind-map my way to 2010. That's just part of the fun.

Possibility indeed. 2009. Bring it.

Snow

The snow floats down, fluffing the city to death.
Children and those at peace like sails
catch the surge, mastered giggle-like, and roll
into the snow across the wide, wide spaces
white; the wraith - lovely, inscrutable - calls.
Cars begin to sputter and curse; one by one
withered white they die
as buttoned, capped, and booted, you and I
go dancing, tromping, dancing by.
- Snow, by Mark A. Noll

We're getting another six to ten inches of snow today and tonight. D and I took Cassie for a walk after dinner; I definitely tromped. And I felt like dancing. Peaceful.

Grateful Saturday

I've many things to be grateful for today, but I thought I'd keep it focused on my Christmas trip home to New Brunswick. As I recounted my week to a colleague, he exclaimed, "It almost sounds idyllic!" In hindsight, I guess it almost was.

Here's my list:

• arriving to and from destination safe & sound
• Sis, Bro-in-Law and his mum arriving safe & sound
• witnessing a shooting star the morning of the Winter Solstice - feeling at one with All
• Mom's chocolate chip cookies, fricot (chicken & dumpling stew sans dumplings) and meat pies
• poutines râpées - a traditional Acadian Holiday treat
• Grenache caramel spread on my toasts EVERY morning
• crackling fires in the fireplace
• feeding the chickadees on my parents' deck
• communal crossword and jigsaw puzzles
• snowshoeing on Mom & Dad's 100-acre piece of land with D, and a bonus trek bushwhacking through the woods at our neighbouring National Park
• Holiday Inn, A Christmas Story, It's a Wonderful Life, The Chronicles of Narnia
• spending the week in one house with six other people, sharing meals, stories and space without cramping each other's individual style
• listening to the scratchy sounds of Gene Autry, Rosemary Clooney and Elvis Presley's Blue Christmas on Dad's record player in the basement
• sharing and laughing with D during the car ride there & back, listening to CBC Radio
• stopping one last night at Château Vaudreuil on the way back, treating ourselves to a suite with a jacuzzi after 11 hours in a car

So many things for which to be grateful - and there are even more that didn't make it here 'cause the list is already long! I am, and continue to be blessed.

A New Year

Squam love note from Jen Lemen

Happy 2009. Peace, Joy and Love to you.